


Absolution

by FairyLights101



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Magic, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Multi, Suicide Attempt, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-07-11 23:09:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7074403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyLights101/pseuds/FairyLights101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What the fuck? Why aren't you casting too?”</p><p>The mage swallowed hard, tongue thick, and he swayed as he held his hands up. Bloody gouge marks marred his palms, made it almost impossible to move his hands as his fingers twitched. “I can't.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absolution

_ No, no, no. It's not supposed to be like this. He's supposed to be safe _ . And yet blood bubbled up from beneath his fingers, hot and sticky, and weak, cold hands patted at his arms, his thighs. Keiji bit his tongue and pressed harder as he clawed at his insides, desperately scrambled for a spell. His hands warmed as words poured from his lips. Golden light oozed from his fingers and palms and flickered over Koutarou. The wispy tendrils prodded at Koutarou and started to sink in - and then they snapped back into his hands. Keiji lurched back with a curse as the magic seared his palms, licked them bright red from the rebound. 

Voices filled his ears, the clash of swords dragged at his attention, but all he could see was Koutarou, his golden eyes wide with fear, his lips stained with blood as he coughed and gasped. “K-K-Ke-” His words broke off into a splutter that sprayed the air with blood and Keiji rocked back over Koutarou. 

“Koutarou, Koutarou, just h-hold on, I'll get it right this time.” But his hands shook as he pressed them back to Koutarou’s chest, and he felt like he was going to vomit.  _ It's my fault. It's all my fault. _ But Keiji bit his tongue and dragged down a sharp breath as he pressed his fingers to Koutarou’s chest and started to chant. This time the glow that poured out of his hands was stronger, harsher. 

_ Red _ . 

Keiji jerked his hands back a second before the magic recoiled and tossed him through the air like a straw doll. He crashed to the ground and his breath rushed out in a great big huff, so much that he couldn't even scream when he landed on his injured arm. The mage just writhed on the ground, breathless, his eyes glued on Koutarou.  _ I'm sorry. I'm so sorry _ . 

Hands wrapped around his arms, hauled him up, and Keiji would have screamed if he'd had any breath. He felt the sores and scabs break open, felt blood ooze out, and his legs nearly buckled as the hands left. “Keiji, where the fuck have you been?” Tetsuro snapped. His face was smeared with blood, his eyes hard and wary. Keiji just shook his head and staggered away from Tetsuro, back to Koutarou. He didn't have time to explain, and even if he did there was no way Tetsuro would let him near their lover.  _ My fault _ . “Keiji, what- oh gods, Koutarou…” 

Armor clanked as Tetsuro darted past and hit the ground beside Koutarou. He'd stopping moving, but his chest still rose and fell with faint, fluttering breaths.  _ We've got time _ . Keiji staggered over as Tetsuro pressed his hands flat against Koutarou’s chest. His normally unflappable demeanor had crumbled apart and left the raw panic on display for all to see. Keiji almost couldn't bear to look at it as he collapsed to his knees. 

A chant spilled out of Tetsuro and the warrior-mage’s hands heated up, tendrils that were soft gold and bright. Tendrils that sank into Koutarou’s chest and don't throw Tetsuro back. Koutarou blinked, his mouth loose and empty of words. Just gurgles and gasps as Tetsuro gritted his teeth and practically shouted another string of chants before he glanced up at Keiji. “What the fuck? Why aren't you casting too?” 

The mage swallowed hard, tongue thick, and he swayed as he held his hands up. Bloody gouge marks marred his palms, made it almost impossible to move his hands as his fingers twitched. “I can't.” 

Tetsuro’s eyes flared wide open and his mouth fell open. Horror. Apology. “Keiji-”

“ _ Tetsuro, heal him _ .” 

The warrior-mage nodded, grim, and turned his focus onto Koutarou as Keiji pushed himself up. He staggered and swayed, but he didn't stop. The mage unsheathed his daggers and turned his back on his partners, his eyes narrowed against the sun. Someone charged at him, armor dull and scraped up and coated in blood, and Keiji stepped in. He barely managed to deflect the first blow and his arms gave out when he pushed the second slash back, but when he drove his dagger up through the man's chin there was no hesitation, no pain. 

He couldn't feel where they'd flogged him, where they'd flayed him. He couldn't feel the broken toes, the runes and words they'd carved into his skin. All he could feel was the way skin and muscle split beneath his blades as he moved, steps heavy and slow. He went until his knees buckled, and Keiji crashed to the ground beside a body, breathless and weak. He couldn't feel his body, could barely feel the dull stings of pain that covered his body. 

_ It's not enough _ . 

He could see a body of one of their comrades a few steps away, another one just beyond.  _ My fault. _ It was doubtful Koutarou would even make it. Tetsuro would hate him. The whole company would.  _ I shouldn't have said anything _ . He should have let them kill him instead, but he'd been weak. And he couldn't even remember what he'd said.  _ Shit _ . 

Keiji’s hand curled tighter around one of the daggers. The hilt bit into the runes carved into his hand and he grimaced as he turned the blade in pressed it to his belly.  _ Sorry. Gods, this is my penance for this slaughter. For my failures. Accept it. Please.  _ “ _ Keiji _ !” 

Hands closed around his wrist, jerked his hand back, ripped the blade out of his hand and tossed it aside. Gray eyes flicked open and up as hands rolled him over, clutched him tight. Koutarou leaned above him, his face pale and the blood that had been on his lips smeared across them. But his golden eyes were wide with fear, and Tetsuro’s were the same. Tetsuro’s hand pressed overtop his head and curled, even as Keiji gasped and weakly twitched his hand for the other dagger.  _ Stop! You don't understand! _ But the spell whispered past Tetsuro’s lips and soothing cerulean tendrils seeped out of his hand and dragged Keiji down into unconsciousness.

* * *

 

Dull throbs dragged him back, and Keiji slowly cracked his eyes open. The room was dimly lit, just the faintest rays of sunlight and a lone wavering candle to illuminate it's barren wooden walls and throw it's slanted ceiling into shadow. Sitting up was a painstaking process, especially without any helping hands. He'd been healed, that much he knew, but a healing spell wasn't a miracle. He knew that all too well. A bitter smile curled his lips as he slowly pulled his leaden arms into his lap and turned them over as he glanced at himself. 

Bandages covered his chest, thick and sturdy. Despite the healing there was blood on his side, and he was almost certain he'd find blood where his back had been if he looked. His arms were wrapped almost from shoulder to wrist, and more covered his palms. And there were cuffs around his arms, silvery-gray and shifting like smoke. Elegant for something that chained him in place by his wrists and ankles. Keiji curled his fingers overtop the wads of cloth and pressed them against his forehead. “ _ Shit _ .” 

Something thumped outside the door and Keiji’s breathing hitched, but no one burst in. He had just a few seconds to relax before the voices started up, and those made him shrivel down even more. “Tetsuro, what the fuck? We just got him back, but you want to treat him like a prisoner? You want to  _ interrogate _ him? You've seen what they did-”

“Koutarou, we don't know why-” 

“I'm telling you, it wasn't him! It was Keiji’s blood we found!” 

“Or maybe it was Lev’s. We still haven't found him.” 

“Tetsu-” 

“ _ Stop _ .” Something scraped outside and a soft thud followed, then a sigh. “Koutarou, I know how you feel - fuck, I feel the same, but that doesn't mean anything right now. What we know is that Keiji and Lev been missing for over a fortnight. We know there was blood in the forest, but not who's. We know that we were ambushed when that was supposed to be a sanctuary. They know that you're the prince - for certain anyways. And he shows up now, mid-battle, cut up? With magic-blocking runes carved into him? He-” 

“He was trying to  _ heal me _ ,” Koutarou wailed, and Keiji curled in on himself as his hands clenched until red spots appeared.  _ Stop _ . But Koutarou didn't. He'd never been good on keeping his mouth shut. “He was, Tetsuro… he was… and you know it. You said yourself that you asked him to help!” 

“You were  _ dying _ ! Fuck, you shouldn't even be out of bed right now! And I don't what you going in there! Wherever he was, a lot happened. They could've easily done that to him for being a traitor.”

“He's not! He’s… he’s not.” His voice had started so strong, and yet it fell to a whimper. He could picture it all too clearly - Koutarou sagged against Tetsuro, clutching at him with desperate fingers, Tetsuro supporting him. Keiji doubled over, nails harsh in his palms and blood oozing out as their voices continued. 

“Kou… Kou, come on…” 

“I want to talk to him.” 

“... Fine.” 

The door creaked as it swung open, but Keiji didn’t uncurl or look up - he shrank in further instead, and a harsh inhale filled the silence. “Keiji…” 

“You should go,” he rasped. His hands slowly uncurled, fingers stained with blood, the bandages soaked with red. “They’ll probably be here soon.”

“We’ve already moved locations. Twice.” Tetsuro’s voice was cold - he hadn’t heard his voice so cold since they’d first met, since they’d danced around each other, cautious and uncertain, until Koutarou had brought them together.  _ He’s definitely smarter. They should’ve left me _ . “Keiji… What happened?” 

He sagged back, pressed his spine to the headboard. Koutarou was close, so close Keiji could almost touch him. Tetsuro’s hands were on his hips - a few centimeters away from his butterfly swords. “It doesn’t matter. I fucked you all over anyways.” 

“ _ Keiji _ .” He’d never heard Koutarou’s voice so desperate, and Keiji pressed a bloody palm to his face with a shuddering inhale. 

“ _ Lev _ happened. We were on watch and he stabbed me, opened a portal. I… They made me talk, Koutarou. Tetsuro. They gave me something when torture wasn’t enough and  _ I don’t know what I said _ .” The mage flexed his hands and they throbbed, a dull ache he barely noticed as his voice fell. “I don’t know what I said… and I can’t do magic.” They’d carved so many runes that he’d lost count, gouged them deep. And they were the kinds of runes that wouldn’t heal. But he could handle that. He could have taken that if he just hadn’t  _ spoken _ . 

Warm hands cupped his cheeks, pulled his head up. Keiji twisted away and jerked out of the hands, but they came back and held him in place. The bed dipped once, then twice, and Keiji had no choice but to look as Koutarou pulled his face up. Koutarou knelt beside him, so close that Keiji flinched back, and Tetsuro sat right behind him. The knives were gone, his face had softened. And, somehow, that only made it worse. Keiji’s shoulders hitched, and his eyes burned as Koutarou tugged him into a soft hug. 

“Keiji… Keiji, it’s not your fault. I know you tried.” 

He shook his head as Koutarou pressed his face into his shoulder and clutched him tighter. A hand wrapped around his ankle and the weight of the cuffs fell away from his wrists and ankles as Tetsuro tightened his grip. “Keiji… I’m sorry.” 

All he could do was shake his head and cry as a second pair of arms wrapped around him, and his partners clutched him tight.

**Author's Note:**

> So this was originally for bokuakakuroo week but I couldn't finish the prompts in time and I like to do an entire ship week so... here ya go  
> Find me on tumblr as fairylights101 and fairylights101writes!  
> Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day/night/existence!


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